Homeopathy Tips for 6/01/10 For My Mom

I apologize for missing last weeks newsletter but I have been dealing with the death of my mother. I wanted to share a few thoughts about death and the dying process with you since the subject is so fresh.

Dying is a part of life. It is the final solution to health. The reason I say this is because health is a relative state and even in the dying process there can be health. As long as the vital force is present there can be many healthy processes that take place. It may be a bit gruesome of a subject but I would like to share of my mothers passing.

Firstly she received the most loving and kind care possible from two men who she loved dearly, her husband and her step-son. I was able to be an active and major part of her health care when I could be present, but due to a separation of our homes and lives, I could only show up part of the time. I was not involved in her primary health care decisions.

Her doctors were trusted through her entire illness and when her condition worsened several drugs were given. Because her conditioned changed so rapidly there was not an opportunity to give her homeopathy during the final month. I am unsure whether it would have made a difference, because looking back at the unfolding of events it is clear now that her she actively chose to die in a very controlled and deliberate manner. I say this because I know she did not want to be a burden on anyone and as her condition worsened she never responded to any of the drugs that were prescribed. If there was a response it lasted for only a day or two before new symptoms appeared or old one’s returned. Drugs were the hardest thing for her care-takers to manage.

When it became clear that the she needed skilled nursing to help her, I believed that she would stabilize and still live for some time. But as one day led to another her condition worsened until she could not communicate anymore. This is when the doctors determined that she was terminal and starting the dying process.

The beauty of death is that it draws the one’s who are closest, together. All of her family came to be by her side and never left until her last breath. She died in the hands of her husband who she loved very much and who took care of her. In the end, even for how very sad this was, it could not have been any more beautiful.

After slipping into unconsciousness the next step became labored breathing. Her chest would heave with each breath. At the same time the tissues of her mouth became black and a very offensive odor filled the room. Because I was not her primary care-taker I had to administer homeopathy secretly. I gave her one dose of Opium CM and within minutes her breathing became much calmer. Within 4 hours the tissues in her mouth returned to a more normal color and the odor lessened considerably. It was obvious that the remedy helped. Several more doses were given in the next 18 hours.

After this time her breathing was still shallow but consistent. At one point she opened her eyes very, very wide and looked off into space. I knew this was a sign that the time was drawing near. I gave her one dose of Arsenicum 30C and 2 minutes later she coughed. I supported her through this and she rested very peacefully for the next two hours until the inspiration in her breathing became less and less. Eventually she simply took her last breath and that was her moment of death.

During the entire time she was unresponsive to pain stimulus and her pupils were dilated and unresponsive to light, yet I believe she could hear everything that was said to her and knew exactly what was happening. She would respond at times with a twitch or blink or facial spasm that let us know she was aware of our presence and what we were saying to her. Hearing is the the last sensory organ to leave and the body has many subtle ways of communicating.

I do not believe that my mothers dying process was painful. If there was pain then it would have been emotional in nature because she never wanted to have her condition cause suffering to others. She was constantly touched and told how much she was loved and that it was okay to let this old body go. I know she was received by loved ones in a place far more beautiful than she has left.

The sorrow that I feel for her loss is overshadowed by the joy I feel by having been a part of the great love during her  dying process. Just like it was time for her to leave her body, it is time for those of us who are left behind to release her. She had a very good life and was a very loving person. I dedicate this newsletter to my mom, Juanita, with great love. I learned love from her. She was the vehicle for my existence.  She brought me love and life. It is about the most any one person could ever give to another. Thanks mom, I love you.

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61 comments so far

  1. Dr. Meena Supnekar on

    Really feel very sorry for u. May God give u the strenght to overcome the tragedy

  2. Apram Virgo on

    I just new today and my deepest sympathy for you and family. May God give strength to you and the family.

  3. Sarah on

    My condolences on the passing of your mother.

  4. Anthony on

    Hi Dr Robert Thank you for sharing such precious moments with us.

  5. Robin on

    My deepest sympathy for you and your family.

  6. Preetika Goel on

    Its very difficult to share such precious moments with others.
    May your mother’s soul rest in peace. May God give strength to you and your family.

  7. Yulia on

    Dear Robert! Thank you for sharing. It’s such a great thing that you could be positive in your thoughts about the “end”. And thanks God, that there is a loving family and all of you could be together at that moment. Bless you.

  8. mary leong on

    Dear Dr. Robert,
    Thank you for sharing inspite of the grief you must be going through at this time.
    your medication must have helped your Mother to a great extent. may her soul Rest In Peace.

  9. M. El Siddig , Canada on

    Dear Robert
    My God give strenght to you and your family memebers
    God bless all of you

  10. Dr.G.K.MohanachandranNair on

    My Deep Condolences to u & ur Family.

  11. R.N.Gupta on

    Dear Robert ,
    I am sorry , may god give you courage to bear the loss.Tsoul of your mother may rest in peace.

  12. Debby Fisher on

    My families deepest condolences for your loss. Thank you for sharing your loss with us. Reading this made me connect with the ones I love at a much deeper level and appreciate fully the time we have left to share with them. I wish you all the best through this time of healing.

  13. Ankica on

    My deep condolences to You and Your family. Thank You for sharing this moments with us.

  14. Suresh Harvu on

    Dear Robert,

    Please accept first my prayer for the departed soul and secondly my sincere thanks and gratitude for your sharing such subtle details of the final moments. I am sure I have learnt one more thing about life from you.

    God bless.

  15. varghese on

    Dear doctor,

    The news letter dedicated to your beloved mom really filled grief and wisdom in our heart.

  16. Ram Khadka on

    Dear Dr.Robert

    It is very sad to hear the death of your mother.As you said the death is a process of life, that you have described in an excellent manner.My deepest condolence to you and your family.May her soul rest in peace.

    Ram Khadka

  17. Monina on

    Thank you for sharing this painful event in your life.
    May God give you consolation and peace for your loss, accept please my sincere condolences.
    A big hug for you and your family.
    Monina

  18. Ashok RajGuru on

    Dear Robert,

    Deepest condolences and I share your grief and loss. But I also thank you for putting across your thoughts so well. As you rightly pointed out, dying is part of life – death is indeed the final solution and also the doorway to a new beginning. As healers we can make the journey smoother and less burdensome, but few of us know how to do so. You are indeed a very good teacher, thank you for rising from the moment of grief to show us the way.

    Even though you were not your mother’s primary health carer, you served her well in her last moments with your compassionate presence and by helping her with the remedies that helped her to find peaceful release.

  19. Pat on

    Robert,

    It is indeed a precious gift to be with a loved one as they let go of this life and move on. Thank you for sharing your experience; it reminded me very much of my experience with my mother and how thankful and blessed I was to have been with her at the end. Our mothers were there at the moment of our first breath, how wonderful that we could be there for them at their last.

  20. Alaina on

    Thank you Robert…
    As always you are a beacon of wisdom even during these more challenging times. What a beautiful tribute to your mother to so generously share this most intimate experience of her death. And what a true gift you were able to give her at the end of her life here thanks to the gift of your life’s work. I’m sending you much love and peace! Alaina

  21. Dr.Rubina Shaikh on

    hi,Thank u for sharing this article inspite of so much pain.May God give stregnth to u and ur family to overcome from this tragedy.

  22. Scott on

    I’m very sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. I too lost my Mom a few years back and not one day goes by that I don’t remember some kindness she did for me or lesson she taught me. I sometimes see her in others around me and it always makes me smile!

  23. sangeeta on

    Hello Robert,
    Iam so sorry to hear this news. It takes lot Of courage and strength to share such news and you did the right thing.My condolences to you and your family. May god rest her soul in peace.

  24. Dr.Muhammad Mujahid Ahmad on

    Dear Doc,
    Since last many days I was so busy in my other activities that I did not open the internet. It is shocking to hear the news of your mother’s demise. May Allah give you strenth and patience to bear the greatest loss a person can ever have.

  25. Yvonne on

    She was the biological connection. May her soul rest in peace. My sympathies to you Robert.

  26. prabodh on

    May her soul rest in peace. God bless you

  27. Dr.T.K.Bal on

    Dear Dr. Robert,

    I deeply mourn the demise of your mom.May her departed soul rest in peace.Also my sincere thanks for sharing your final health care experience with us.

  28. Connie Trumpf on

    Namaste *deep bow*

  29. dr.santosh on

    hi,Thank u for sharing this article inspite of so much pain.May God give stregnth to u and ur family to overcome from this tragedy.

  30. dr.santosh thube on

    Dear Doc,
    Since last many days I was so busy in my other activities that I did not open the internet. It is shocking to hear the news of your mother’s demise. May god give you strenth and patience to bear the greatest loss a person can ever have.

  31. Michelle on

    Robert,
    A friend of mind is in the final process of dying and I see there as well that there is a ‘healthy’ way in which one can die.
    May you be comforted.

  32. Ketena on

    Robert, What a wonderful gift to be given, to be with your mother at her peaceful passing. How amazing to know she was greeted by loved ones who had gone before. I know your strength and love that she taught you will carry you through the sad moments and remind you of all the joy you received at her hand. May peace and joy be with you and all of you family. Hugs Ketena

  33. Helena on

    dear Robert, thank you for sharing this journey with us. I am very sorry for your loss! It is especially hard to let go of our parents and as it becomes clear that she has her own path to follow it is so good to see you having followed your own in such a inspiring way. She will certainly always be around you as people are when they love I wish you and your family peace in this time Helena

  34. Michele Waters-Suro on

    Robert,
    Thank you for sharing your story. The actions and thoughts around your Mom’s passing were huge, and the peace that comes from letting go . . . truly amazing. Letting go is such a valuable aspect of life that we earth-beings frequently struggle with. I know I do, thank you for the gentle reminder, reinforcing how important it really is.

    You were blessed having Juanita as a Mother, she was very blessed having you as her son!

    Sending our love, support and light filled with peace to you and your entire family now,
    Michele

  35. Fazal Waheed on

    Verily to GOD belongs all that He takes and all that he grants and to Him returns everything at an appointed time.

  36. Dr.Manohar Potdar on

    While reading my eyes became wet.
    Iremembered the passing of my mother, which was 45years back. I know what amom is and what her love is.

    May your mom’s sole rest in peace

    Dr. Manohar Potdar

  37. Sharon on

    Dear Robert, my deepest sympathies for you and your family in this very special time. Thankyou for your generosity in sharing, showing us the intimacy and dignity of death. I wish you peace and much love, Sharon

  38. sirajudeen on

    Dear Robert,
    my heart felt condolence to you and your family. It is great that even at thedays of mourning you want to educate others about death and last minute medication.you only can do this. May god give you the courage to overcome the loss.
    May her soul rest in peace

  39. Tarakeshwar Rao on

    Dear Friend Dr.Robert,

    I am so sorry to hear this news. Inthe last weeks letter you said some relative. But I know the pain of loosing mom because I have experienced the same recently in almost the similar conditions. With all the care, love and affection could not extend her life. She had an intestine cancer detected at a very advanced stage..
    I pray the almighty let your mom’s soul rest in peace. and May god give you to tolerate with this law of nature.

  40. Robert Lal on

    Hi Dr Robert:
    I am deeply grieved to read about the final moments of your mom. My mom also passed away at the age of seventy eight .You showed
    a great courage in looking after your mom in the last moments.However,
    God knows what could be an appropriate time to give someone the home call.May His hands protect you and your family and His presence guide you…. He may also fill you with His Peace.

  41. Yohai on

    Dear Robert
    My sincere condolences.
    Your writings on this event touched me deeply with their unique quality of personal and instructional excellence.
    Thank you and may god give you strength and peace.

  42. drrawkrishna on

    Dear Robert,

    Deepest condolences and I share your grief and loss. But I also thank you for putting across your thoughts so well. As you rightly pointed out, dying is part of life – death is indeed the final solution and also the doorway to a new beginning. As healers we can make the journey smoother and less burdensome, but few of us know how to do so. You are indeed a very good teacher, thank you for rising from the moment of grief to show us the way the all mighty will lead you in cominmg days.

    I & My family members deeply mourn the demise of your mom.May her departed soul rest in peace.Also my sincere thanks for sharing your final health care experience with us.

  43. Pam Stublaski on

    What a beautiful story, Robert. I can only hope I pass with that kind of grace and elegance. I miss our interactions, but it makes my heart sing to see you are so loved and supported by all the lives you’ve touched, simply by following the path that GOD intended for you.
    To me, you are the poster child of “Fulfill Your Destiny”

  44. Monica on

    Dear Robert,
    May the wonderful moments and memories about your mother stay in your heart forever and help you overcome your loss.
    Thank you for being able to share so soon such an intense moment.
    My ancestors say that death is redemption while birth is the burden.
    May God help you seeing the bright side of this sad circumstance.

  45. c.ferns on

    Dear Dr. Robert,

    We share our grief with you. May the Almighty Lord give you strength to bear this irrepairabile loss. May he give you courage throughout your life. We all pray for your dear beloved mother.

    Regards

    Celes

  46. Gerald Field on

    Dear Robert,

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your mother. Thank you so much for giving us such deep insight into her journey and the way you could help her through that experience. My heartfelt regards. Jerry

  47. Caroline O Callaghan on

    Robert,

    Please accept my deepest sympathies for you and your family on the passing of your mother. I lost my mother in law last year to cancer and I can relate to your grief and the feeling of privilege at being with her in her final days. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

    Regards

    Caroline O Callaghan

  48. naseermuhammad on

    dear robert

    I read the death of your great mom I extemely

    grief and sad to me. I have no mother but mother

    is like moon in home. I am very sorry , we only help to

    pray to her

    Please accepted my spmpathic views.

  49. Rosalie Henry on

    Robert,
    Thank you for sharing your feelings, insights, experience and your love for you mom and family in this time of grief and acceptance.

    It does make a difference to us, as you can see by the responses. Personally, I am moved greatly to reflect on my own actions and thoughts about my ailing, aging mother and our family dynamics, distance included.

    May you and your family and her friends all heal from the loss and celebrate her life in your cherished memories.

    Rosalie

  50. mah-jabeen on

    thankyou sharing such precious moments with us may your mothers’ soul rest in pece . Allatala give u the strenght to overcome the tragedy. My depiest condolences on the passing of your mother.
    Its; such a great thing that you could be positive in your thoughts about the end of life . dying is a part of life.
    May Allah give you strenth and patience to bear the greatest loss a person can have . I am very sorry for your great loss it is hard to let go of our parents.

  51. Ramakanta on

    Dear Dr Robert,
    I am realy shcocked with the breavement of your mother.Mother , the eternal source of love, affection and inspiration for ever could not be compared with anyone in the world.
    May her noble soul rest in peace and continue spreading of her blessings to us .

  52. asok das on

    i feel for you. may i suggest to read gita to have some solace.

  53. maria villa on

    Hi Dr. Robert Receive my more senses pesame by his mother Mrs. ireparable loss praying to God a speedy recovery of the family for this very unfortunate suseso and ask to have it in their glory and elevaremos players to her this resting in peace with God.

  54. Abby Beale on

    What a privilege to be there when your mother passed away. There is nothing more human than bearing witness to this. May you take comfort with this memory and the countless others you and she had together.

  55. Robert Field on

    Hello everyone. Thank you all for your condolences. I just found out throu the death certificate that mymom’s condition is called Shy-Dragers syndrom. It is an Autonominc nervous system failure. Google this. She had every symptom. It really does describe this well. Thanks again.
    Robert

  56. solarajac on

    my deepest condolence to ur mother.i pray for the god .

  57. Dr.Aradhana Srivastava on

    With due respect,
    Death may appear to be end but definately is not the end,
    It makes us realise the delusion factor of life..
    Ican understand what you feel…With lot of respect to ur mother..may the soul rest in peace.
    The last moment experiences with her of your’s will always enlighten your soul..

  58. Dr.Aradhana Srivastava on

    With due respect,
    Death may appear to be end but definately is not the end,

    The last moment experiences with her of your’s will always enlighten your soul..

  59. meera on

    My deep sypathy to you &your family.

  60. K.Rajagopala Kurup on

    In my society mother stands for the ultimate STRENGTH.
    Let her bless you and look after you well from her new abode!

  61. P.Hari Chandana on

    Hello Robert Sir,
    3 months back My father had heart attack. He had some minor operation. So i am not see your mails. Today i see your mails. I knew the sad news. Iam so sorry for that. But i want to tell you two slokas in Bhagavathgeeta.
    “”Jatasya hi dhruvo mruthyuhu dhruvam janma mruthasyacha
    Thasmada pariharyerthe natvam sochithu marhasi””
    “”Dehino asmin yadha dehe koumaram yavvanam jara
    Tadha dehanthara prapthi dheera tathra namoohyathi””
    I pray to god, your mother soul will get healty and strong body and lead very happy life.
    I don,t know english very well, if you see any mistakes please forgive me.


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